The Word "Trauma"
The word trauma is heard quite frequently these days. You can hear folks say this person was traumatized or an event was a traumatizing experience etc. However, trauma has a very specific definition in which a set of circumstances must be present. Having a frightening experience is not necessarily the same as a traumatizing experience or event.
What is Trauma?
Any event or experience in which the following occurs:
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It is frightening.
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It involves actual or perceived threat of physical death, serious injury or emotional annihilation to you or to someone else or something else that you care for such as a pet.
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You feel and/or are powerless and helpless to stop the experience or event.
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It is sudden and unexpected.
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As you can see from the above definition almost all of us have been traumatized at some point in our lives.
The 2 General Categories of Trauma
Little (t)
traumas
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Getting fired from your job
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Having your car stolen
Both of these events can be experienced as Big (T) traumas.
Big (T)
Traumas
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Rape
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Unexpected death of a loved one
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Natural disasters such as a tsunami or war ​
Sometimes little (t) traumas can be experienced as Big (T) traumas but Big (T) traumas are never little (t) traumas.
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As you can see Big (T) traumas have a significantly greater level of intensity and impact on the person.
Understanding Trauma Recovery
It is important to note that all mammals, including humans, have a built-in natural mechanism to recover from many types of traumatic events. However, the most severe types of trauma, such as rape or war, overwhelm the healing and recovery capacity of almost all humans.
If you have previously experienced traumatic events, your capacity to heal and recover tends to decrease. This is especially true if you haven’t had the chance to heal from past trauma. Additionally, one’s capacity to heal is reduced if they are constantly experiencing trauma. Repeated exposure can increase the likelihood of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is the most severe trauma response.
The Three Phases of
Trauma Therapy
Phase 1:
Education about Trauma
In the first phase, we focus on understanding and defining trauma. It’s essential to bring traumatic events and experiences into your awareness, as you’re able. The person begins to understand and acknowledge that they have experienced trauma, that it’s unresolved, and that it is negatively impacting their life.
Phase 2:
Stabilization
You will learn to identify how trauma has changed you. This includes recognizing trauma-based responses, such as:
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Biological responses: Shaking, sweating, racing heart.
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Cognitive responses: Thoughts like “I can’t trust anyone,” or “The world is dangerous.”
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Emotional responses: Fear in certain situations, angry outbursts, or other emotional disturbances.
Phase 3:
Healing and Recovery
Using a variety of counseling modalities and activities, we will work toward healing. These include:
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Psychoeducation
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Interpersonal Neurobiology
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Internal Family Systems Theory
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Mindfulness practices
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Reading books on trauma, listening to podcasts about trauma
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Body movement such as Dance Therapy and Trauma-Informed Yoga
How Trauma Affects People
Trauma has both biological and emotional impacts. After a traumatic event, it’s completely normal to experience a range of symptoms and responses. These may include physical reactions, emotional distress, or cognitive changes, all of which are part of your body’s natural response to trauma. In most cases, these symptoms lessen and go away within a few weeks.
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However, if these responses persist beyond several weeks, professional help is essential. Without intervention, these symptoms are unlikely to resolve on their own, and you may find yourself stuck in a "trauma response cycle"—a state where your life feels increasingly difficult, unhappy, and challenging.
Biological Responses to Trauma
The impact of trauma affects both our brains and bodies. When we experience a traumatic event, the sympathetic branch of our autonomic nervous system kicks into high gear. This system is responsible for the freeze, flight, or fight response—most commonly known as the "fight or flight" response.
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This response is housed in our emotional brain, or limbic system, which is largely unconscious. At the core of this system is the amygdala, our built-in danger detector. Once the amygdala sounds the alarm, the rest of the body gears up for survival. The brain and body act as one to help us get through the traumatic event.
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During trauma, many biological processes occur. Your heart rate increases, stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood your system, and your body prepares for action. These reactions are designed to protect you and get you out of danger. However, they can't be sustained for long. Eventually, your body and brain reduce this heightened activity.
Emotional Responses to Trauma
Trauma also triggers a range of emotional responses as the event unfolds. These responses can include:
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Shock
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Disbelief
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Confusion or disorientation
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Denial
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Fear
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Helplessness
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Feeling alone or isolated
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Panic
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Feelings of detachment or dissociation (feeling like you're leaving your body)
Both the biological and emotional responses to trauma are completely automatic. We have no control over how we respond in these moments. For example, you can’t will your heart to beat more slowly, or prevent yourself from feeling shocked.
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For most people, it’s easy to understand how certain experiences, like a car accident or being in a war, can trigger these responses. But a more common type of trauma is called developmental or relational trauma, which happens in the context of relationships.
Developmental or Relational Trauma
While it’s easy to see how a traumatic event like a car accident or a war experience can trigger intense biological and emotional responses, there’s another, more common form of trauma that often goes unrecognized—developmental or relational trauma. This type of trauma occurs within relationships, especially during childhood when we rely on caregivers for our emotional and physical well-being. Examples:
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Physical abuse and neglect: Hitting, inadequate feeding, isolation, or not providing basic needs like warmth and safety.
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Emotional neglect or abuse: Name-calling, bullying, threats, or withholding love and affection.
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Sexual abuse: Inappropriate touching or being made to perform sexualized acts, even without physical contact.
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Unpredictability: Caregivers whose reactions vary wildly, like responding calmly to a mistake one day and with anger the next.
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Chaos: A chaotic home environment with unclear roles, domestic violence, or substance abuse.
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Misattunement: Caregivers who fail to recognize or support who you truly are, pushing you into behaviors or roles that don’t match your nature.
The Effects of Developmental Trauma
If you have experienced developmental trauma, you may struggle with:
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Low self-esteem and self-worth
Difficulty maintaining friendships or romantic relationships
Trust issues
Anger issues
Feeling anxious and not understanding why
Constant negative self-talk or putting yourself down
Believing that you deserve bad things that happen to you or that you don't deserve anything good
People pleasing
Constant shame and/or guilt
If trauma remains unresolved, your functioning and quality of life may fall short of your true potential. Consider your quality of life: Are you happy? Content? Do you enjoy your relationships and your job? Do you treat yourself and others with love, respect, and compassion? Do you feel a sense of emotional safety?
The Impact of Unresolved Trauma
Unresolved trauma can significantly affect both your inner and outer life. Often, people with unhealed trauma are given diagnoses for conditions like:
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But upon closer examination, the root cause may be unresolved trauma. Living with unaddressed trauma can create lasting emotional challenges and impact your overall quality of life, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction, fear, and instability. It’s not always easy to recognize trauma as the underlying issue, which is why these conditions often go misdiagnosed.
On the outside, things may seem manageable, but on the inside, the emotional pain can be overwhelming. Recognizing and addressing the trauma is the first step toward breaking free from the cycle and improving your mental and emotional well-being.
Examples of Unrecognized Trauma
Many people live with the effects of trauma without realizing it. Here are four examples of trauma that often go unrecognized:
A 35-year-old woman is a very nervous driver
She may tell everyone that she’s fine and just a nervous driver. However, deep down inside, she has flashbacks and intrusive thoughts of the severe car accident she was in when she was 21. Flashbacks and intrusive thoughts are two of the symptoms of trauma.
A 25-year-old man is very depressed
He has never told anyone that one of his older brother’s college friends raped him when he was 14. Traumatized people can also appear depressed.
A 45-year-old woman overeats or “loves food.”
She carries around guilt and shame from being physically and emotionally abused by her stepmother. Guilt and shame, in the form of self-blame, are often part of the trauma cycle.
A 27-year-old man uses cocaine and pills
He turns to drugs to dull the pain from being emotionally neglected and physically abused as a child. Many people use drugs and alcohol to dull the emotional pain that results from trauma.
The Most Severe Response to an Trauma is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
After experiencing a traumatic event, the central nervous system works to heal itself. A normal part of the trauma healing process may include intrusive memories, flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty sleeping, and a loss of appetite. Most people tend to recover from single-event trauma within a few weeks. However, if the symptoms persist with the same intensity and frequency beyond 30 days, there’s a high likelihood that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is developing.
What is PTSD?
PTSD is a complex response to trauma. When the central nervous system is unable to recover fully, it creates a state of heightened anxiety and distress that can affect nearly every aspect of life.
What Triggers PTSD?
PTSD can develop after any traumatic event, but it’s especially common after experiences like:
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Sexual abuse or physical abuse
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Rape
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War or military combat
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Witnessing terrorist activities
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The sudden death of a loved one
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Discovering an emotional or physical affair
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In some cases, people may develop chronic PTSD, where symptoms last for years, or complex PTSD, which results from multiple traumatic events over time. Complex PTSD can arise from ongoing traumatic experiences, both in the past and the present, creating deeply ingrained emotional and behavioral patterns.
The Hidden Struggle of PTSD
PTSD doesn’t always manifest in ways that are immediately visible. People with PTSD can appear to be living normal lives on the outside, but internally, they are suffering deeply. The emotional and psychological toll of PTSD can be devastating, affecting relationships, work, and overall well-being.
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PTSD must be treated by an expert, as it is unlikely to resolve on its own. Without proper intervention, the symptoms can worsen over time, making life increasingly challenging.
How Long Will
Trauma Counseling Take?
The length of trauma counseling depends on the type and nature of the trauma you have experienced. A common request from trauma survivors is for “quick treatment.” However, it’s important to understand that your entire body including your central nervous system has been operating in survival mode for a long time and the core function of this mode is protection. Your system, first has to recognize that you are most likely no longer in danger and that it does not need to protect you in the same ways that it has been doing. This then opens the pathway for healing and recovery to begin to occur.​
How long trauma counseling takes is a tricky question. It involves a combination of your budget and how much you are willing and able to invest in your healing and recovery. It also involves the type of trauma treatment that you receive. Trauma treatments that focus on cognitions and symptom management typically go from 12 to 16 weekly hour-long sessions. Trauma treatment that aims for transformational change often takes much longer from about 1 year to several years. Transformational change is beyond managing symptoms and monitoring cognitions. It brings about significant and fundamental change in the ways in which a person views themself and new ways of how their neurobiology functions in day-to-day living. It goes deep within one's soul so that one can live the highest quality of life.​​
Trauma treatment with John involves Brainspotting, a brain and somatic (body) based psychotherapy modality. In addition to Brainspotting, John will also help you recognize distorted beliefs and thoughts along with ways in which you "emotionally imprison yourself" but frame it as protection. This helps you to come out of negative emotional patterns and behaviors. You will learn to recognize your body’s physiological responses through mindfulness practices and you are encouraged to engage in other types of body based activities such as yoga, dance etc. that promote connection and healing of both the brain and body.
The Biggest Challenges in Trauma Treatment
Many trauma survivors encounter common challenges during the treatment process, including:
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Desire for a Quick Fix
Many people hope to find rapid relief, but true healing takes time and persistence.
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Avoiding Emotional Pain
Often, there is a tendency to focus only on thinking and problem-solving, avoiding the difficult feelings that need to be processed for healing.
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People-Pleasing Patterns
Survivors may try to please others in the hope that it will somehow heal their emotional wounds, leading to disappointment when it doesn’t work.
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Stuck in Unhelpful Emotional Loops
Trauma survivors frequently find themselves in repetitive emotional cycles that are hard to break without recognizing the patterns.
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Negative Self-Talk and Self-Blame
Traumatized individuals often engage in harsh self-criticism and blame themselves for the trauma they’ve experienced, which can hinder healing.
Breaking Free from Unhelpful Patterns
The hopes and beliefs that many trauma survivors hold onto are often a direct result of their traumatic experiences. For example, a person with unresolved trauma might constantly try to please others, hoping to receive validation or affection. They may believe that if they can get someone to behave in a certain way, it will prove that they are lovable or worthy.
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Many people find themselves stuck in variations of these unhelpful emotional loops, where their behavior is driven by distorted beliefs. Alongside this, survivors often spend a great deal of time secretly blaming themselves for their trauma and engaging in harsh, negative self-talk.
How Trauma Counseling Helps
Trauma counseling helps you break out of these destructive cycles. It provides a new way of understanding how trauma has interfered with your life and introduces compassionate, effective strategies for healing and recovery. While trauma counseling can be difficult and challenging, the emotional freedom and life transformation that occur when you heal can be truly life-changing—beyond anything you might imagine.
